oh maurice...

love your work.

your interviews...not so appropriate for sharing in class...

research day

Lubna Chowdhary // Artist Profile from Jamie Isbell on Vimeo.

"no matter...

...what it is there's something to learn...
that feeling that there's always something under it...
there's always something meaningful laying underneath..."

Clay from Zane Clampett on Vimeo.

this

all of this.


Alan Watts & David Lindberg - Why Your Life Is Not A Journey from David Lindberg on Vimeo.

just a boy

& his friend...

sim but different

mama's

always right.

pure feeling

2:00 to 2:12 is what i'm alive for.  seriously.  honestly.
it's why i'm still here to write words into the darkness of the internet.
that absolute raw emotion that knows no words, no images,
it is just feeling.
it is raw and real and it can be painful or joyful or more often
it can be beyond emotional categorization.
that
is
being
alive.

that is being human.
that is what we're here to experience.
that
right
there.

intentional gratitude

this morning, after drinking the first cup of coffee and feeding the pup pup and helping my husband get ready & out the door for his day, i start in on the task of writing 20ish personal thank you's to each of my students.

next week is our last week of art class, and although we only spent 6 weeks together (for a very short hour and 15 minutes each class)...i'm attached and sad to see them go.  they taught me so much, and although i am exhausted at the thought of what i have poured into them (energy, time, thought, care, art lessons, adorable projects...) they always give it right back ten-fold...

sometimes it's a tight hug given freely and without prompting the moment they see me (and probably when they see the look of tired on my face)...

sometimes it's an ah-HA moment when a little concept of some kind suddenly clicks in their brain and they rejoice at the knowledge that it happened...

sometimes it's them repeating my teaching right back to me when I forget it myself.  "oh, Miss Renai, you're not happy with such and such YET!"  oh yeah, sure enough.  good job sweet baby loves.

and in an intentional effort to be more thankful and aware of all the many blessings in my life, I have been working hard to say and write and deliver more "thank you's" to the people in my life that make it the wonderful thing that it is.  and it's not just the big things...it's also the ladies at the WFM clinic that always answer the phone and are so professional and kind and helpful every time I call.  Yep, they get a thank you card, too.

so as i begin the long task of coming up with a unique sentence or two to describe and thank each of these students for sharing space and time and their bright lights with me...i wonder what you are thankful for today?  it's like cleaning out your closet.  when you open your eyes to everything that's good and wonderful in your life and take the time to develop gratitude for it all, you discover all these other amazing things that you hardly even noticed before.

thank you.

similar but different

as m would say <3







dude, I must admit...dance parties have saved my butt on more than one occasion in the classroom.

when absolutely nothing is going as planned or well, I am always tempted to tell my little friends to drop everything, push chairs in, make sure there is space around their body, and then I turn on some loud song and we dance out the frustration / anger / tired / annoyed / too much energy / not enough energy / sadness until we can make art again.  sometimes it's just for them, sometimes it's just for me...but I must say not once have I hosted a mid-art class dance party that didn't benefit everyone :)

i will only sing

many many many mistakes!!

#growth mindset, y'all

really.

love & progress

where

to go?
where to grow?
where do we grow (and go) from here?

"listen,

you must never express your anger or frustration using your body,
and you must never allow your emotions to keep you from remaining in control of your body.
it is not ok to hit anyone or anything in this studio,
it is never ok to hit anyone at all regardless of where you are.

it is unacceptable to hurt anyone else because of your own emotions.
you must apologize, now."

#shittheartteachersaid
#truth
#kids
we're all still learnin' things, y'all.

i am free now

life sounds like!

life sounds like

i'm alive i'm alive i'm alive i'm alive i'm alive i'm alive
so-hum
(i am.)

(week 4)

blue sky

i find these little pockets of sadness and fear inside myself.  usually they burst open unexpectedly, and usually at inconvenient times.  i have an intense fear of losing the people (and animals) that i really love, and i borrow sadness when i fear the (inevitable) future when their hearts no longer reside on the earth.  and instead of focusing on my belief that hearts and people and animals do not disappear when they leave the earth, i easily become trapped in the sadness.  and i know that part of this is the kid-gloves artist thing, the bit about the unavoidable fact that i feel things intensely.  i rarely feel a little happy, or a little sad, or a little frustrated, or a smidge disappointed.  instead i feel feelings intensely, with my whole being, and it is hard to stuff them down or let them go.  so i feel them.

and today, i look to the blue sky and consider awareness.  consider that i could perhaps, with great love and great practice, learn not to get stuck in the cloud of feeling and emotion.  perhaps, one day, i can carefully and with very great love gently press through the translucent cloud of feeling to see that there is blue sky beyond.  the clouds are transient, the clouds are encompassing but do not have to be.  i am not clouds, i am blue sky.  i am blue sky that experiences clouds, and the clouds are not good or bad they just are.  some days they are good.  some days i fight through them.  but i am not them, i am the blue sky.  and when i realize continuously that i am bright blue sky, i will more easily accept and let go of the clouds.